im in a crowded coffee shop, common grounds. i walked here soon i will be walking home heat warnings all week yet im crazy enough to walk all over town in this heat. i dont want to be home feeling alone and ready to do something drastic. i contemplate asking to move to my mothers. not easy thing to think about.
i dont believe happyness should be a goal in life, doing whats right for the poeple around you and do what is best for yourself are very important but that doesnt its the same as happiness. so i am trying to decide what is better the good education and horrible family and friends life or the decent education and good family life with my mom brother and step dad. i havent told to many about whats on my mind and when i do it is breif
i dont know why i decided to waste two dollars at common grounds on soda, sit in a uncomfy booth with crowds chatter pressing in, i typically run from this sorta social hub, but like said i needed be away from home i need to think. i am exhauseted.
had dreams the family moved into a house where a family had been murdered and was haunting the place, i had to perform like a spell casting to help the spirits move on but they were stubborn and causing hell, scaring me, yet i kept at it even when dying. it was not peaceful sleep and for once i am unsure what my dream meant. usually its rather clear what stresses make their ways into my dreams.
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